By Stephen Klimis, Law/Science (Advanced) II
After receiving such heart warming acclaim from UNSW Law School Fashion Week: 2nd of March to 22nd of November, I decided to set my eyes on launching the second instalment, UNSW Law School Fashion (Exam) Week.
I WHAT DOES FASHION MEAN?
With all the privileged eastern suburbs women and men pretending to be more wealthy than they actually are, the word ‘fashion’ becomes quite confusing. However, there are two ‘rules’ that will always hold true. One, money laundering can’t buy class. Two, formally adopting a single definition of the word ‘fashion’ would fail to capture that it is a habit, nay a way of life, nay an art form, that transcends culture (#MetBallTragedy2015) and geographical location.
II AN UNWELCOMED INSPIRATION
A Hugo Boss retail assistant approached me the other day, and while making small talk he suggested: “Aren’t Law Students supposed to be very unfashionable? Isn’t that the whole point of Legally Blonde?” On behalf of my fellow brothers and sisters, I formally submit that I was so insulted. I mean, if what we wear shows the world who we are and who we’d like to be, then law students would have to be the most fashionable University demographic. Right?
But this retail assistant may have just put a kink into that paradigm, and that is totally not fetch.
The latter inspired me to collect some data of my own. No way was I letting this (daggy) retail assistant (#NeedAJob #RetailStoresHireMe) get the better of the Science half of my combined degree. Ultimately, appearance changes a lot when Law Students are drowning in study for finals, especially when they’re simultaneously trying to finish their major IR essays (#ScienceLaw #NoEssays #TheChosenOnes).
I lurked in the bushes observing every law student I knew (and even those I didn’t know). My eyes were focused and my ears were sensitive. My pinna was twitching.
Number 1 – The Hoodie/Jersey Junkie
The first trend that I came to notice was that there is always that one person who wears their UNSW LawSoc hoodie to every single exam.
I must say that in my reign as Supreme, outfit repeaters (sinners) will be burned at the stake. ALSO, what is up with law students and not being able to let go of their high school days? That jersey didn’t do you any favours in 2013, it won’t do any different in 2015 (#Klimdawg #EvidenceBurned).
Number 2 – The Homeless Person
Second, there is always that one person who looks like they haven’t had an address for fifteen years. They look disheveled. They have baggy eyes (they aren't Chanel) and they are wearing matching (not in the good way) baggy clothes. You can tell they’ve been studying for days on end without breaks. I once entered the exam room looking like the love child of Ozzy Osbourne and The High Sparrow but I promise you I was not venturing into the abyss of conscientious academic life. I’m more of a work hard, play hard, type of guy. I mean, without the work.
Number 3 – Preppy Prep School Boy
Third, floating in a Ralph Lauren vest, shirt, tie and trousers, this person is bouncing and bobbing about, catching everyone’s attention. So preppy and evil, with satanic fairies guiding their each and every step, you know that they want something in return for extending their hand to you.
Ugh, I wish I could pull off a vest.
Number 4 – Karen Smith Wannabe
I regretfully admit that I’m the biggest culprit of dressing like it’s summer when it’s actually winter. These people look outside, see clear blue skies and decide to wear shorts and a t-shirt. Not only do they freeze to death in the exam room but they also look like their mother didn’t give them enough love.
Number 5 – The Funeral Frequenter
This person looks like they’re dressing to attend a wake because they know they’re going to kill everyone in that exam. Personally, I’m more of a “I’m going to fail so I may as well be #KillingIt when I do”.
Look, unfortunately, I’ve come to the conclusion that the retail assistant was probably right. The only law student who seems to be extremely fashionable is me.
By Stephen Klimis