The Portfolio Games: The Education Portfolio

By The Education Portfolio

Which portfolio are you?                                                                                                          

We are the mighty Education Portfolio. 

Some portfolios have the ability to produce impeccable online publications and supply merchandise (no names) and others have the power to provide piglets on demand. In order to find some sponsors (future Exec), you must inform the people of what your portfolio brings to the table.

Just to start off, we are the portfolio with the ability to provide piglets and other baby farm animals on demand. But it doesn’t stop there.

Suddenly realise that a subject doesn’t make sense and you need to figure out what is going on a week before finals? No problem. We’ve got the exam revision workshops you need to get you back on track in just an hour – yes that’s right, we’re also time efficient.

Feel like it’s week 7 but then look at your timetable and find out it’s only week 3? The wellbeing team is here to give you a hug, chocolate and anything to make you feel a bit better. We’ve also got mentoring programs where you can meet up with other people who have been through the exact same struggles as you and give you some ideas on how to make it through.

How on earth do you decide where to go on law exchange out of the multiudes of possible destinations? Who, with the timetable of a law student has the time to track down students who have gone to each country? We certainly don’t expect you to. That’s why we have a number of publications like the exchange guide and electives guide to help you out with some of the more difficult decisions when it comes to How to Law Degree.

In other areas of the Education Portfolio, we’re working on developing a version of Hermione’s time turner adapted for Law School and how to make law textbooks lighter than air.

The canon has sounded. You look to your right. You look to your left. Your competitors have flown into the crashing waves before you, racing to pick their weapon of choice. You decide to join in on the fight. What weapon/weapon combination does the average member of your portfolio choose?

Well, first of all, with so many teams, we are not average. Our strength is certainly in numbers and each team would have their own weapon to foster their strengths:

Educational Support is going for the herbs and spices so that they can flavour up any educational cuisine to become edible. Be it the spiders of Fed Con, or the Criminal Law larvae, they can turn any source of protein into a delicious bowl of Educational Goodness. 

Publications and Mentoring race in for a laptop or any other electronic source of email. It would be a waste of their amazing ability of luring in potential mentors or contributors to not send off a few emails requesting (read: begging) for some support from the experts outside or some contributions to the “How to make it through the Portfolio Games Alive Guide”. 

Wellbeing: An electric mixer ready for some kitchen warfare. First of all they can make food for the Ed Execs. Then, they can lure in all of the other portfolios with their cupcakes when.. whoops! they put in too much love (accidentally of course). Turns out the rest of the Exec is now hugging the Ed Exec and the tournament is now known as the Happiness Games.

A portion of us look up to Harvey Specter, some of us look up to Blair Waldorf and some may even look up to the plastic bag from American Beauty. Who/what does your portfolio look up to and why?

Spencer Hastings from Pretty Little Liars. Let’s explain this in three simple GIFs.

First of all, we’re ready to shout out “STOP!!!!” before you get yourself into a messy situation unprepared. After we’ve stopped you, we can help you out.

Secondly, we don’t waste time beating around the bush. We tell it like it is.

And finally, nothing scares us. We’re ready to face anything for a friend in need.

I’m going to assume that sanity is directly proportional to an absolute obsession with (or at least awareness of) Game of Thrones and/or Harry Potter. Considering this, pick a family from Game of Thrones, or a House from Harry Potter, that most represents the events/publications/things that your portfolio organises. Explain.

The Education Portfolio belongs in Ravenclaw. We are the Luna Lovegood’s of LawSoc - admired for our wit, intelligence and creativity. Being such a big team, we’re a very strong contender in the game and bring a lot of strengths to the arena. Rowena Ravenclaw would be proud to have us.

A portfolio has answered the previous question with a similar response (How dare they?). You must battle it out to claim what is rightfully yours. What does your portfolio say in order to win the judges over?

How much more Luna can we get?

Walking around the law building with our Spectrespecs we try to spot those pesky Wrackspurts flying around to stop them from making your brain all fuzzy in Week 7. Educational Support flies in with their workshops, and the Wellbeing team sprinkles on happiness and positive thoughts to help fight the infection. Finally, to prevent future infections, publications will give you the latest exchange guide if you would like to avoid another outbreak at UNSW and we’ll put you in the latest mentoring program to keep you going strong throughout the semester.

Your portfolio has (obviously) formed a group to survive in the gruesome, artificial wild. You all jump out of a tree and start to circle another portfolio. In desperation (and fear) they offer to collude with you to win The Portfolio Games. Do you accept their offer or do you end them before they get the opportunity to turn on you?

So we’d start off with the Wellbeing Team luring in the other portfolio, and curbing their starvation with a batch of cupcakes (or three). The Educational Support team would then put them at ease and help them understand game strategies, the publications team would hand out a book containing the remaining competitors and all of their strengths and weaknesses. At this point, the enemy portfolio feels as if they can trust us with their deepest darkest secrets and lets us know their own weaknesses. Then, Mentoring signs them up to the Portfolio Games Mentoring Program. I know it’s not very Regina George or Draco Malfoy of us but hey, players gonna play the Portfolio games (am I right?) and this is how we play. At the end of the day, we’re here to help out every law student no matter who you are. And then the other portfolio will love us so much that they would never turn on us, because hey, we provide piglets on demand remember?!?!