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The Portfolio Games: The Mooting Portfolio

By The Mooting Portfolio

Which portfolio are you?

We are the Mooting Portfolio!

Some portfolios have the ability to produce impeccable online publications and supply merchandise (no names) and others have the power to provide piglets on demand. In order to find some sponsors (future Exec), you must inform the people of what your portfolio brings to the table.

Currently the mooting portfolio offers the opportunity to humiliate and debase your colleagues in front of their friends and family. We hope to expand on this in the future by introducing initiatives that will allow grand final winners to scalp their opponents at the Grand Final presentation ceremonies. We feel this adds a personal element to the internal competition trophies.

The cannon has sounded. You look to your right. You look to your left. Your competitors have flown into the crashing waves before you, racing to pick their weapon of choice. You decide to join in on the fight. What weapon/weapon combination does the average member of your portfolio choose?

Gavels: good for punctuating rulings as well as heads.

A portion of us look up to Harvey Specter, some of us look up to Blair Waldorf and some may even look up to the plastic bag from American Beauty. Who/what does your portfolio look up to and why?

A mirror that reflects straight down into the pits of hell, but also allows you to check out your butt on the way down.

I’m going to assume that sanity is directly proportional to an absolute obsession with (or at least awareness of) Game of Thrones and/or Harry Potter. Considering this, pick a family from Game of Thrones, or a House from Harry Potter, that most represents the events/publications/things that your portfolio organises. Explain.

House Oakheart – “Our Roots Go Deep”

A portfolio has answered the previous question with a similar response (How dare they?). You must battle it out to claim what is rightfully yours. What does your portfolio say in order to win the judges over?

“If it pleases your honours, we would happily comply with an order for specific performance of a contract for service. Especially if it were given orally.”

Your portfolio has (obviously) formed a group to survive in the gruesome, artificial wild. You all jump out of a tree and start to circle another portfolio. In desperation (and fear) they offer to collude with you to win The Portfolio Games. Do you accept their offer or do you end them before they get the opportunity to turn on you?

Finish them in court. It’s not a victory until they’re bankrupt and destitute.

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