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The 9 Types of CP Warriors in Every Law Lecture

By Dylan Hopcroft, Media/Law IV

As the reality of Week 12 begins to sink in and your resolute denial about the impending doom of exams starts to surely evaporate, now is the perfect time to think about that all important CP mark. Whether you’re as eloquent as Justin Trudeau while you comment on Kirby’s dissent, or you’ve never uttered a sound from your surreptitious position in the back corner, this is a tribute to all those CP warriors out there…

1. The Attractive CP Guy/Gal

Oh yes please, please keep talking. This CP contributor has a voice like velvet. You stare at them longingly and wonder how they could be so perfect. It’s so cute how intelligent and interested they are in the subject. This person makes you want to come to class. You need everyone to shush and listen when this person talks because you need your fawning time.

2. The Eater

Lord help me. This student eats in class. They contribute a bit, and then go back to eating. Trust me, I’ve seen this. Don’t do this. For everyones sake. I don’t want to hear you chewing while I’m listening/contributing. Bonus points for irritation if the eater’s snack of choice contains one (or all) of the following: foil, nuts, muesli, soup, crunchy chips. You’re not subtle and you’re making the rest of us hungry. 

3. The Aggressor

This person feels the need to retort against the viewpoint of another person in class. Yes, this is productive and good if a valid point is made, but after 10 minutes of it, please no. You know how your mum keeps talking after you’ve already understood what she was saying after about 20 seconds? Yeah, same thing.

4. The Fact Recounter

Their strategy is to recite the facts to the case. They do this every week. This person will sometimes only read the first few cases, and make sure to be picked to answer the first few questions in class just to CP on the facts. At least there will never be awkward silences with this person around. Well done! You passed english comprehension!

5. The person that plays dumb

This person acts dumb just to CP. They already know the answer to their question, but they ask it anyway. Shameless CPing if you ask me.

6. The person that just keeps on taaaallkinggg

Okay we get it. You’re already going to get full CP marks, so please give the rest of us a chance okay?

7. The student that hasn’t done their readings

This student isn’t going to contribute. Don’t expect a word out of them for like, 11 weeks. This student will frantically realise they are going to loose 20% of their mark and contribute like crazy in week 12 (or in just one class when they get their energy up). Revel in watching them struggle to answer follow up questions, or, if you’re one of them, keep up the hard work buddy 😉

8. The student that did their readings for the first half of semester, then just stopped.

This makes up a large portion of students. It’s like how you dress well at the start of semester, but end up looking like a wreck by week 12. It’s just hard to keep up. This student will likely try to coast through the rest of semester with the knowledge that they have a solid half semester of CP already under their belt.

From this….

to this…

9. The CP Demi-God

This trained warrior has done their readings. They have highlighted their textbook. They are on top of their life. They are boss. They will roast you, and the lecturer. Do not challenge them lest you wish to end up on the barbed end of their enchanted law textbooks and notes. Worship them. 

At the end of the day, CP is something that all students at UNSW have to do. Whatever type you are, CP is what makes our law school special and different. You definitely don’t get as much time to discuss and participate in some other law schools. So don’t fret, be proud that we have CP!

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