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The Portfolio Games: The Private Law Careers Portfolio

By The Private Law Careers Portfolio

Which portfolio are you?

The one and only. The best careers portfolio. Behold, The Private Law Careers Portfolio. A portfolio you wish you could spend some private time with.

Some portfolios have the ability to produce impeccable online publications and supply merchandise (no names) and others have the power to provide piglets on demand. In order to find some sponsors (future Exec), you must inform the people of what your portfolio brings to the table.

It is preposterous to have to even momentarily fathom a portfolio being better than the Private Law Careers. We provide the Capitol, which watches over us from Level 3 of the Law Building, with enjoyment, and copious amounts of attention from our sponsors, both national and international.

This equips us to send silver parachute packages to cater for students’ in need, and keep their dreams warm and alive. With 5 Districts, from first to final years, we have a fix for all, including:

1.     Clerkship Games: With the Private Law Careers, Five-Star Catered cocktails evenings, champagne fountains, why wouldn’t you suit up? This is your chance to meet Harvey Specter and be the new Mike Ross, learn all about the tricks and trades of the Clerkship applications and converse to impress the sponsors. We also organise firm presentations and ‘how to’ workshops throughout the year, to help you survive, no matter which District you come from.

2.     Catching dreams: Ever wanted to travel and discover the world, see the world icon which inspired the Law Society Logo?! *cough cough Singapore* With the Careers Guide you can learn all the opportunities available locally and internationally! There are opportunities for tributes from all the districts.

3.     Mockingfair: The final addition to the series is our two most important events of the year! *Shots fired into the dusk sky* *Flares spell out C.A.R.E.E.R.S. F.A.I.R. A.N.D. H.O.N.G. K.O.N.G. L.A.W. F.A.I.R.* *Tributes’ gasp* Gain a fair share of knowledge at the fair, giving you the edge over the students from the dark, shadowy place, where you must never go (unless it is for the law revue poster run!)

The canon has sounded. You look to your right. You look to your left. Your competitors have flown into the crashing waves before you, racing to pick their weapon of choice. You decide to join in on the fight. What weapon/weapon combination does the average member of your portfolio choose?

We only need two weapons to conquer all others, our Mockingjay pin which we wear with pride, and our ability to navigate within the woods:

Mockingjay Pin: We look to the right, then to the left and RUN straight ahead, into battle, with our heads held high, donning our Private Law Careers Guide, like our gold Mockingjay pin, it is a symbol of hope for all. This is our way of communication and to provide all the Districts with important information. It was initially seen only appropriate for District 4 and 5, but with the passing of time, the new advanced 2015 version provides interview and application tips useful to all.

Navigation: It is a common fact, that your ability to navigate the woods will determine your survival and help you prepare for the Clerkship Games. We will show you the way around the woods, and keep you safe and sound, *play Taylor Swift Safe and Sound* *music crescendos* through our countless events of the year where you will meet HRs. Not only will this help you understand what is required of you through the Games, but a familiar face in the strange woods would also give you an advantage.

A portion of us look up to Harvey Specter, some of us look up to Blair Waldorf and some may even look up to the plastic bag from American Beauty. Who/what does your portfolio look up to and why?

We worship the one and only, Kat, Winner of The Hunger Games and Winner of our hearts. Katniss has been a source of inspiration for all the Districts, fighting evil with her Spear, Britney Spears’ perfume ofc.

I’m going to assume that sanity is directly proportional to an absolute obsession with (or at least awareness of) Game of Thrones and/or Harry Potter. Considering this, pick a family from Game of Thrones, or a House from Harry Potter, that most represents the events/publications/things that your portfolio organises. Explain.

The Sorting Hat was placed and the words Slytherin are immediately and clearly enunciated. This was of no surprise. Founded by the great leader, Carol Sintherin, this house is composed of the most ambitious, driven and powerful women (and Richard Du,of course). Sintherin corresponds to the element water, as Private Law Careers is the true holy source of all the wine at Hogwarts.

A portfolio has answered the previous question with a similar response (How dare they?). You must battle it out to claim what is rightfully yours. What does your portfolio say in order to win the judges over?

That’s not possible! Our great leader Carol Sintherin will be undefeated for ETERNITY. *lights shine side to side* *Private Law Careers emerges from the fog* If someone dare challenges her mighty strength, they must be reminded that they stand on the soil that funded by the sponsorship pool, all brought in by the hard work of the Private Law Careers Portfolio, Katerina’s glamorous eye makeup and Simon’s long tie.

Your portfolio has (obviously) formed a group to survive in the gruesome, artificial wild. You all jump out of a tree and start to circle another portfolio. In desperation (and fear) they offer to collude with you to win The Portfolio Games. Do you accept their offer or do you end them before they get the opportunity to turn on you?

We jump out of the tree, in a primeval position, with our very best formal suits on. We corner them. Slowly, one by one. *sing Audrey’s favourite song, Let it go* *Administration portfolio, look up immediately* They follow their great leader who has been lured into the circle of the chanting Private Law Careers Portfolio.

We engulf them and re-clothe them. But the kindness and collegiality we have learned from the great Kat(niss) has taught us well; we don’t need to all be a part of the Clerkship Games. We have now, indoctrinated them into The Private Law Careers portfolio, and we are now all Sintherin.

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